DEVIN
IT’S GETTING LATE and she hasn’t even bothered to return my call since the last time I was in her apartment. We really need to talk about what happened and clear the air, if only she would give me the opportunity to do so. Instead, I take the lead and decide to text her but she's being short in our messages right now. I don’t know if I should just leave her alone or go over to see her, but I already know if I show up like I did last time, all hell will break loose. She likes that romantic shit, maybe I’ll just go.
My nerves get the best of me, so I continue to sit on my couch for a little longer and concur that a response is better than none at all. So, I hang tight and settle for this back and forth bullshit. Keeping the conversation light, I ask her a few questions, you know the standard shit — ‘How are you?’, ‘Do you have any plans this evening?’, followed by a thirsty ass ‘Can I come through?’, and of course she objected to that last one. Can’t blame me for trying, though. She’s giving me an inch with these one word responses and eventually the text fades to nothingness, leaving me left on read. Immediately, I’m full of regret for reaching out in the first place.
She told me she doesn't have any plans for the night, so I figure a quick ride over there won’t hurt. Right? I quickly throw on some grey sweats, a white tee and sprint out the door. I get into my car but I’m hesitant to fire up the ignition. What if she doesn’t let me up? Am I wasting my time? But one question trumps them all and rouses me to press the pedal to the floor. . .
“What if she still wants me?” I whisper to myself.
Pulling into the closest space available, I sigh in relief when I see her car. She wasn't lying, she’s home. I check myself in the mirror, making sure I don’t look crazier than I feel but something, someone, catches my eye, diverting my attention — It’s her.
She looks stunning. Her hair blows in the wind and I swear I can smell the coconut and shea butter from here. She’s wearing my favorite dress and it’s hugging every curve of her body. Her smile illuminates the night sky and I just can’t wait to be next to her. But wait, why is she so dressed up? The realization sets in and my heart sinks to my feet. She’s dating someone? She’s talking to some guy, flirting like it’s her day job.
They move in a little closer so I divert my attention away because I’ll be damned if I see my girl kissing another man. I turn down my music then pull the lever on the side of my seat, relaxing into a laid position and wait. Waiting for her to realize she’s making a mistake, that she still loves me, but I know that won’t happen. After letting a few minutes pass, I take a peek to ensure the coast is clear, and they’re gone, but his car’s not. Please don’t do this, Kaiden.
Twenty minutes have passed, and the feeling of my world falling apart is dominating every area of my mind and there's nothing I can do about it. I’m still trying to build up the courage to get out of my car, instead, I opt to pull out my phone and send a text before I completely embarrass myself. Too late. But then the doors to her building fly open and I see him leave. Fuck this.
As soon as he pulls off I run into the building, straight to the elevator, pressing the button without acknowledging anyone or anything else in my presence. My hands are sweaty, thoughts in a frenzy, yet, I know exactly what I need to say. I arrive on her floor and jog down the hall to her unit. Lifting my hand before I knock, I pause. Fear sets in and I’m unsure why I’m here. She lied! She was on a date. She doesn't care about me? Why didn’t she just tell me? She never lets anyone inside. As the thoughts continue to flood my mind, muscle memory prompts me to knock on her door anyway.
What if she doesn’t answer? Why are you still here? You should just walk away.
The familiar sound of shifting pressure from the door lets me know she’s already looked through the peephole. Too late now. She takes a second before I hear the locks become undone and then I see her, and before she can say anything I speak with urgency.
“Kaiden, can we please talk?”